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Monday, 31 January 2022
REVIEW: See For Me (2022) Stars Skyler Davenport and Jessica Parker Kennedy
Sunday, 30 January 2022
REVIEW: The Amityville Uprising (2022)
I seem to be reviewing a lot of B movies recently, the latest one to come across my desk is The Amityville Uprising, released by Lionsgate. Not sure why Lionsgate are making and releasing B movies, they clearly don't need the small change that this film would make.
The film starts off with some terrible CGI showing a chemical blast at a military base. The general idea of the story is that this strange blast, creates a cloud of toxic acid rain. Most of the story takes place at a police station.
I say this because the first 40 minutes is literally just people talking to each other about not very interesting things. Don't get me wrong, there is some funny one liners in there, but action wise, nothing really happens.
But the second 40 minutes of the film, it all picks up. The toxic acid rain will kill you, if it touches your skin, it will also then raise you up as a Zombie. The film is all about a few people trying to stay alive and kill zombies. Pretty standard stuff, but there are some funny one liners in there. I rarely laugh at such films, but the makers of this film realised that they had a very low budget and a crap storyline, so actually made the effort to have some funny lines, which I quite enjoyed. Throw in the fact you can see the whole film in 40 minutes, and it crosses that line into "Good Terrible".
There is also some really dumb clips from fake news broadcasts, which made me laugh, as well as a bizaree video game like feature, where upon the first time you are introduced to a character, you get a screen like below.
It makes no sense, but I just kinda liked it.
I also want to applaud the film makers for the ending, FINALLY we get an ending in a Zombie film that makes sense.
The Good
I enjoyed the sillyness and one liners.
The Bad
The first 40 minutes are a waste of time.
Overall
The film is stupid, but I still kinda liked it. I thought the ending was good, and the one liners made me laugh.
I score The Amityville Uprising (for a B movie), a solid 7/10
Saturday, 29 January 2022
REVIEW: War of the Worlds Annihilation
Bad terrible films, are pretty much everything else. Sadly, War of the Worlds Annihilation falls into the bad terrible list of films.
Wednesday, 26 January 2022
REVIEW: In the Strange Pursuit of Laura Durand (Η Αναζήτηση της Λώρα Ντουράντ)
I score In the Strange Pursuit of Laura Durand a strong 8/10
Sunday, 23 January 2022
REVIEW: Shattered (2022) - Starring Cameron Monaghan & Lilly Krug
Sunday, 16 January 2022
REVIEW: The King's Daughter (2022) - Starring Pierce Brosnan and Kaya Scodelario
Saturday, 15 January 2022
REVIEW: The Matrix Resurrections
I was promised a terrible woke sequel, but the bad guys are still the Communists (machines) and taking the red pill still wakes you up.
The story is cringe at times, but it's still a somewhat enjoyable action film.
Set sixty years after the events of The Matrix Revolutions, the film follows our hero Neo, who is now living a somewhat normal life as Thomas Anderson in San Francisco as a Game Developer, and creator of The Matrix video games, (insert major cringe at this point with terrible 4th wall breaking dialog). Anderson is seeing a therapist and describes a psychosis of him believing The Matrix is real, after a while a new version of Morpheus offers him the red pill and reopens his mind to the world of the Matrix.
Neo joins a group of rebels and we have pretty much the same old story being told again.
Not only is there a new Morpheus, there is also a new Agent Smith, the problem here is that they have just recast old characters, and the original actors were so iconic in their roles, that this instantly seems alike a huge let down.
The Good
It is still the tale of good vs evil, the common man versus the elite, the special effects are incredible as you would expect.
The Bad
The film is not great, it is also not terrible
Overall
The promises of "reclaiming the red pill" narrative doesn't really materialise, the film is not overly woke, the problem is the film is just not that good. But that is because of the very high standard of the original.
I score the film a super generous 7/10 mainly as I am a huge Matrix fan. Could've and should've been better. We are literally living in a world right now that the original film fantasized about, but the film makers were too cowardly to take head on.
Review by Jon Donnis
Friday, 14 January 2022
REVIEW: Fortress - Starring Jesse Metcalfe and Bruce Willis,
Tuesday, 11 January 2022
REVIEW: Eternals - Starring Richard Madden, Salma Hayek & Angelina Jolie
Unlike previous Marvel films that would take one character at a time, before throwing them all into a film together, this film does the opposite and it suffers for it.
Ever notice how the bad guys in Marvel films are always the ones saving the planet through depopulation? They are the Bill Gates of the Marvel Universe!
Sunday, 9 January 2022
REVIEW: Last Looks - Starring Mel Gibson and Charlie Hunnam
Thursday, 6 January 2022
REVIEW: The Commando (2022) - Starring Mickey Rourke and Michael Jai White
Is it worth your time to see it? If you are a fan of Michael Jai White then yes, why not.
Monday, 3 January 2022
REVIEW: The Misfits - Starring Pierce Brosnan, Rami Jaber, Hermione Corfield, Jamie Chung, Mike d Angelo, Tim Roth, Nick Cannon and Qais Qandil
Review By Jon Donnis
Pierce Brosnan stars as Richard Pace, a renowned international thief, he finds himself recruited by a bunch of unconventional thieves, he is convinced to take part in an elaborate gold heist after realising his daughter is the one that created the group.
But unlike most thieves, "The Misfits" are in it for the good, think of Robin Hood and you get the idea.
The plan is to steal millions in gold bars from a secure vault hidden under a maximum security prison, the prison is owned by rogue businessman Schultz (Played by Tim Roth), and is used for funding terrorism around the world.
When the film was released, it caused great controversy, as it is set in Qatar and the idea that they may fund terrorism might not be something they want advertised, even if it is in a film.
What follows is a pretty paint by numbers heist film, suped up cars, car chases, disguises, cons within cons, and a few explosions, and you get the idea.
Pierce Brosnan is Pierce Brosnan, he is cool, calm and collected, as he is in almost every film he makes.
Tim Roth plays his part as the evil businessman well, but again it is a part he has seemingly played endless times before.
The rest of the cast are very generic and bland. One black guy, one Asian girl, one blond girl, etc, it is yet another "one of each" type of casting, as to not piss off any ethnic group.
The Good
I am a fan of Heist movies, and The Misfits rips pretty much all of them off, without ever really improving on any of them, but does it really need to? It ticks all the boxes, has the twists, if like me, you enjoy a good heist movie, then this is perfectly fine.
The Bad
This is a film made for an international market, as I mentioned it is very paint by numbers, tick all the boxes kind of film, you will watch it once, and forget about it.
Overall
A film no one asked for, we don't really need, but it is not terrible, it is also not great, it is just another film.
I score The Misfits a fair 5/10