Wednesday 28 February 2024

REVIEW: Madame Web (2024 Film) - Starring Dakota Johnson

Review by Jon Donnis
"Madame Web" is a catastrophic attempt at superhero cinema that plummets to the depths of disappointment from start to finish. With a plot so convoluted it's nearly impossible to follow, the film fails to engage its audience on any level. Here's a breakdown of the myriad reasons why this cinematic disaster deserves to be buried in the annals of forgettable films:


Firstly, the plot feels like a jumbled mess of ideas hastily thrown together without any coherence or direction. From a clich├ęd backstory involving a betrayal in the jungles of Peru to a contrived narrative about psychic abilities and a convoluted prophecy, the storyline is a labyrinthine nightmare that offers no satisfaction to viewers.

Character chemistry is nonexistent, leaving audiences with a cast of cardboard cutouts reciting lines devoid of emotion or connection. Even the talented Dakota Johnson can't salvage her role as Cassandra "Cassie" Webb, a character whose journey from paramedic to reluctant clairvoyant superhero feels forced and unconvincing.


The film's attempts at humour fall flat, further exacerbating the sense of disconnect between the audience and the characters on screen. Instead of delivering moments of levity, the dialogue feels stilted and awkward, leaving viewers cringing rather than laughing.

Special effects, a hallmark of superhero films, are shockingly subpar. From poorly executed action sequences to lackluster CGI, "Madame Web" fails to deliver the visual spectacle expected from a Marvel Comics adaptation.


It's evident that the film underwent extensive editing in a desperate attempt to salvage a coherent narrative, but the end result is a disjointed mess riddled with continuity errors and obvious dubbing. Scenes feel choppy and disjointed, further detracting from any semblance of immersion or engagement.

Furthermore, "Madame Web" shamelessly panders to the trend of so-called "woke" filmmaking, prioritizing diversity checkboxes over meaningful storytelling. Rather than focusing on creating a compelling superhero narrative, the film feels like a checklist of token characters shoehorned in for the sake of political correctness.


In summary, "Madame Web" is a train wreck of epic proportions, lacking in every conceivable aspect that makes a superhero film enjoyable. With its muddled plot, wooden performances, laughable humour, shoddy special effects, and pandering to woke culture, it's a cinematic failure of monumental proportions. Save yourself the agony and steer clear of this cinematic catastrophe.

I score Madame Web a generous 3 out of 10.

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