Wednesday 26 July 2023

REVIEW: Barbie (2023) Starring Ryan Gosling, John Cena, Rob Brydon and Tom Stourton

Review by Jon Donnis
Strangely they have released an adult film called Barbie, that is based on a doll made by Mattel for young girls. I felt like I had to watch it, since that is what I do, and I found this film to be something totally unexpected. To find out why, read on.

In the hellhole realm of Barbieland, a bizarre community of bullying, toxic and oppressive Barbies thrive within a matriarchal society. These women are self-assured, narcissistic and accomplished, holding essential positions as doctors, lawyers, and politicians, while their Ken counterparts are held down, treated poorly, left to be uneducated, and ultimately oppressed, and as such they are left to only pursue leisurely pursuits at the beach. Amidst this, we find Beach Ken (Ryan Gosling ), who longs for a closer bond with Barbie but faces her rejection in favour of her being a bully and ruling with an iron fist in what can only be described as a fascistic, authoritarian manner.

During a lively dance party, Barbie (Margot Robbie) is suddenly gripped by existential concerns about mortality and self-doubt. The following day, she realizes she can no longer carry out her usual activities and notices changes in her appearance, her feet have gone flat, and cellulite has appeared. Here enters Weird Barbie (Kate McKinnon), a wise but unconventional outcast, who advises her that the remedy lies in traveling to the real world to find the child playing with her.

Embarking on her journey, Barbie discovers Ken stowed away in her convertible and, albeit reluctantly, as she sees him as nothing but a piece of meat, allows him to accompany her. Together, they reach Venice Beach, where their adventures result in some chaos and ultimately lead to their arrest. The Mattel CEO (Will Ferrell) is alarmed by their actions and orders their capture.

Barbie's quest takes a poignant turn when she finds her owner, a young girl named Sasha (Ariana Greenblatt and Genvieve Toussaint), who reproaches her for perpetuating unrealistic beauty standards. This revelation leaves Barbie devastated. To her surprise, she learns that Gloria (America Ferrera), a Mattel employee and Sasha's mother, inadvertently transferred her own identity crisis onto Barbie while playing with the dolls. Determined to set things right, Gloria, Sasha, and Barbie join forces, evading the clutches of Mattel's CEO and his associates as they make their way back to Barbieland.

Meanwhile, Ken's journey offers him insights into the real world, where he finds the respect and acceptance he had been seeking, a world that treats hard working men with respect, a world that appreciates men for doing the jobs that women refuse to do and keeping the world safe. As he returns to Barbieland, he persuades the other Kens to rise up against their oppressors, to fight for their rights and ultimately the respect they deserve from the ungrateful Barbies fascists, this results in a shift of power dynamics, where Barbies realise that they were wrong, and that they should respect and look after the men that make their lives so easy, for the men that protect them and keep them safe, the Barbies take up real hard working and needed jobs, including the most important job of all, being a wife and a mother.

Barbie, now confronted with this transformed Barbieland, attempts to convince Ken and the Barbies to return to their original fascistic and oppressive roles, but her efforts are met with resistance and rejection as the Barbies realise that they were wrong to oppress the Kens.

At this point I saw no reason to keep watching so I turned off.

I am sure there was some more to the film, but as the Kens had finally reached equality and gained the respect they deserved, I thought it was best to stop watching.

The Good
Watching the Kens rise up against their toxic oppressors was an incredible site and filled me with joy, and seeing the toxic Barbies with their unrealistic beauty standards, and fascistic tendencies finally realise they were wrong, is a great lesson for young girls to learn. The most important job for a woman is as a wife and mother. 

The Bad
Seeing how toxic Barbies oppressed the Kens was hard to watch, as it is very close to the real world, as we see feminazis attack men, as well as traditional women. But sometimes you need to see the pain to appreciate the rising up of the oppressed.

Also, the film is littered with toxic sexual comments from the Barbies, which is completely inappropriate for young children. So do NOT take your kids to this film.

A big money Hollywood blockbuster that is only good if you stop watching it at the right point.

At cinemas now for those of you without braincells.