Monday 26 December 2022

REVIEW: Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery - Starring Daniel Craig, Edward Norton and Dave Bautista

Review by Jon Donnis
I am gonna keep this review relatively short, as it seems apparent that I am the only person around who did not like this film.

Lets first look at the official synopsis

"Benoit Blanc returns to peel back the layers in a new Rian Johnson whodunit. This fresh adventure finds the intrepid detective at a lavish private estate on a Greek island, but how and why he comes to be there is only the first of many puzzles. Blanc soon meets a distinctly disparate group of friends gathering at the invitation of billionaire Miles Bron for their yearly reunion. Among those on the guest list are Miles' former business partner Andi Brand, current Connecticut governor Claire Debella, cutting-edge scientist Lionel Toussaint, fashion designer and former model Birdie Jay and her conscientious assistant Peg, and influencer Duke Cody and his sidekick girlfriend Whiskey. As in all the best murder mysteries, each character harbors their own secrets, lies and motivations. When someone turns up dead, everyone is a suspect."

This has to be one of the most unnecessarily overcomplicated films ever made. It also has a ridiculously long run time of 2 hours and 12 minutes not including the credits. What should be a simple who dunnit, is so discombobulated, I honestly don't know where to start.

There are attempts at humour in this film, but at no point did I even raise a smile. The only interesting character is Duke Cody, a streamer and men's rights activist played by Dave Bautista. I honestly couldn't care less about any of the other characters at all. Even the usually reliable Daniel Craig who plays Benoit Blanc just annoyed me throughout. 

The film just takes way too long to get to what the film is supposed to be about, a murder mystery (about 45 minutes at my count). And then with flashbacks, too many characters, forced cameos of washed up celebs like Hugh Grant, and I just wanted to kill myself. Even the big reveal towards the end is so over done.

This is a film that Netflix paid a HUGE amount of money to get the rights to, and it just seems like they spent even more money throwing everything they possibly could against the wall and seeing what sticks.

Now clearly I am in the minority as this film has had great reviews everywhere, I could say it is just the corrupt media being paid off, but it seems that normies liked it too. So I guess I am the only one who didn't like it.

Perhaps that is reason alone to watch, to see if you agree with me, or if I am a lone hater.

The Good
Dave Bautista excells in everything he does, and this film he stands out massively as the most entertaining and interesting character.

The Bad
Over complicated, over written, in fact it feels like it was written by 3 different people, who never met each other, never saw what the others had wrote and then a 4th person came along and just threw it all together.

I hated it, everyone else in the world seemingly loves it.

If you have Netflix, give it a watch and let me know? Maybe I just have a Christmas hangover. Who knows.

Out Now on Netflix